In Kindergarten I also started taking lessons for the first time. Lessons is where your Mama and Daddy give some other grown up money to take their kid for a while and make them do something boring even though they don't want to. My Mama and Daddy decided that I should take Ballet. At first I was really excited cause my Mama said that Ballet was all dancing, but she was wrong. Mostly ballet is when you go to this big room with mirrors all over the walls and try to make your body stretch in directions that it never wanted to before. They know that your body doesn't want to stretch that way so they give you this great big long bar to hold onto while you try to get your body to go the way they tell you it should. Ms. Maybell started us in “first position”.

“alright girls you take your toes and point them as far out as they will go.”

Then I found out that Ms. Maybell was really a witch! She hardly seemed to wiggle anywhere else but all the sudden her toes were pokin' straight out sideways from her body!

She started walkin' around to each of us girls and tryin' to make our toes go like hers. She grabbed hold of my left foot and started to turn it, but the floor was slick and instead of my foot turnin' all of me turned instead. So then she took my right foot and started turnin' it out instead, but then my whole body turned that way the same as it had before.

“Tut, tut dear you really must try helping me here. Turn them yourself as far as you can.”

I started tryin' to make them turn out and in a few painful moments I had them nearly where they should be. Then I realized Ms. Maybell had been holding onto my shoulders. I realized this cause she let go. With my feet turned like that I couldn't catch myself and fell down flat on my face. I tasted that flavor that you get when you suck on the hangers from the dry cleaning store. It was then that my Mama came running over from the chairs and looked worried. My front teeth had gone clean through my lower lip. My Mama grabbed a maxipad out of her purse and pushed it against my face. When we went running toward the front door the lady at the desk handed Mama her money back.

I got four stitches, and Mama bought me a cool metal stick with balls on the ends. It was called a baton and the next day I met Ms. Roberts at the community center to learn how to twirl it! We were havin' all kinds of fun in her twirlin' class. She taught us to stir witches brew real loose like. I told her I met a real witch that could turn her toes out and everything, but she just giggled a little and went on. Then we started to turn the baton in figure eights sideways. She showed us that the faster and faster that it went the better it looked so I tried to make mine turn real fast. That was when one of those balls caught the end of my nose. I tasted hangers again, only this time I also saw stars. Mama slapped another maxipad on my face and got her money back again. My nose started to swell up so much that I had to breath through my mouth.

My daddy decided that I was just to soft and needed lessons that would toughen me up so the next day he took me to a place called karate. I got a soft white suit and a nifty white belt that went around me twice and tied in a knot. The man in front of us bowed so I curtsied just like my Granny Pluma had taught me. His eyes twinkled a little and then we all got to punch invisible things in the air. The he handed out these neat rubber boards and told us to divide into partners to practice the punches again. I had a pretty orange board, and was given a little boy with a purple belt on to be my partner. I held the board low and he punched it. I held it off to the side and he punched it. Then I noticed there was a crack in it and went to see if he had broken the board, and he punched it, and it hit me right in the eyes. I fell backwards on the mat and the stars went twinklin' in front of my face.

Mama wasn't home so Daddy decided we should go back to the hospital to see if I was okay. My eyes were swelling up to match my nose and it was getting hard to see out. The nurse at the hospital took me from my Daddy and said that they were gonna take a few pictures of the inside of my head just in case. She left daddy in the waiting room and gave me an ice pack for my face. Then she asked me why my Daddy had hit me.

“My Daddy didn't hit me a little boy did.”

“A little boy hit you in both eyes at the same time?”

“Well he hit me with a board, and the board hit both eyes.”

“And your daddy let him?”

“My daddy paid for him to, and he didn't even get his money back!”

“Well what about your nose?”

“I hit my self while making figure eights.”

“You were ice skating?”

“No, I was twirlin'.”

“What about the stitches? How did you end up with those.”

“A witch caused that. I really don't want to talk about it though 'cause I don't think the twirlin' lady believed me.”

When she took me back to my room there was another lady out in the hall. Soon the nurse was talkin' to her kind of soft and I only heard a few words....

“Figure eights...self mutilation....maybe a cult...”

I love colts. Maybe they were gonna talk Mama and Daddy into letting me try horse back riding next! I was real excited when the lady came in to talk to me 'cause maybe she owned the ranch with the colts!

“Hi Sylvania, My name is Ms. Moore and I want to talk to you a little about your face would that be okay?”

“Sure. How many horses do you have?”

“Horses? I don't have any horses dear. I work for the Department of Children's Services. The hospital called cause they were a little worried about all the bumps and things on your face. Can you tell me how you got them?”

“I guess that I am just not very good at learnin' my lessons.”

“So if you don't do something right your parents hit you?”

“Oh no. My parents don't believe in hitting. They take away the Flintstones if we do something wrong. They just tried to get me lessons and I am not very good at them.”

“What about the witch that you told the nurse about Sylvania?”

“Her name is Ms. Maybell and she runs the ballet school. She can turn her toes clear out sideways. She don't even seem to try they just turn that way. I tried, but when she let go I fell on my face and got stitches.”

“Oh...and the figure eights?”

“ That was my fault. I was trying to twirl figure eights with my baton, and caught myself right on the end of the nose. I don't think they will let me go back to twirlin' class and I liked it the best I think. At least there I hit myself. In karate another kid hit me, and I think he blacked both my eyes. Are my eyes blacked?”

“Yes dear they are...that happened at karate?”

“Yeah. The only thing I was good at there was the curtsy, and that was just 'cause Granny Pluma had already taught me how. Is my Daddy ready to take me home now? I'm getting a little hungry and my Mama and Amber had gone to the fruit stand to buy corn on the cob for dinner. Doesn't that sound good with butter and salt? I bet Mama will even cut it off the cob for me so I don't get salt in my stitches. She's real nice like that. Would you like to come have some with us? I don't think they would mind, and then you could meet my sister Amber, she is to young for lessons so there aint nothin' wrong with her face.”

“No honey that's okay, I have to go talk to the nurse.”

“Does she have horses?”

“No, why?”

“'Cause I heard her tell you something about colts and I thought maybe Daddy was gonna let me try riding lessons next. I love colts.”

I heard Ms. Moore laughing as soon as the door closed, and then Daddy came in and picked me up to take me home. He had called Mama from the hospital, and sure enough when I got home the corn on the cob was already cut off with butter and salt. It was sure good. Too bad Ms. Moore didn't come have some with us.